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The Wonder Luster

For Those Of Us Whose Dreams Won't Die Between 17 and 65.

Life is wondrous! Feed your lust for life with the tools & inspiration to help make it a great one.

Little Ripples: Finding Value In Mistakes & Joy In Small Progress When You Reclaim Your Life

Joy Inducing Tactics | March 19, 2018

While it's a gift to have trailblazers in your IG feed, it can feel like you're watching their highlight reel when you're still in the thicket of bullshit.

This was a “we never take selfies anymore” selfie on the super rare occasion when I don’t have Hermione hair and I put lipstick on.

We live in a super awesome, previously unimaginable time where you can log onto Facebook or surf some ultra-hip hashtags on Instagram and you’ll easily see a myriad of people who have crafted their own destinies by living in an RV and running a full-time online business from the road, or a family who sold off their stuff to live and travel on a sailboat as a family.

By the very nature of social media, we follow people who seemingly mastered something notable- á la Gretchin Rubin who wrote a best selling book and thus, an empire, that was founded on a seemingly simple premise of monthly happiness projects or The Frugalwoods who started living intentionally and gave up a traditionally consumerist lifestyle for extreme frugality in the city and thusly, found financial freedom in the woods of Vermont.


While it’s an amazing gift to have inspiration and trailblazers in your Instagram feed, it can also feel like you’re watching their highlight reel when you’re still in the thicket of bullshit working towards your goals.

I “discovered” the concept of a fully funded lifestyle change (A.K.A financial independence/retire early) last October and started to see that many people who I’ve known for years and grabbed beers with had this lifestyle of freedom figured out long before I knew it had a name.  (Here’s looking at you Paula Pant,  J.D. Roth and PT Money!)

Dude, where have I been? 

In essence, the Financial Independence movement- is a lifestyle choice that’s formed from a variety of perspectives- some folks are minimalists, others are devout frugalists, others still are deeply concerned about the environment.

All though, believe in living within your means, and the belief that buying your time and freedom back is the most important use of your dollar, not owning stuff that invariably owns you.  Some really get excited about the idea of shaving 5, 10, or 20 years off their retirement date so they can leave a draining career and spend more time with their families.

I began listening to podcasts every morning on double speed while I was getting ready for work and it was like a whole direction in life revealed itself to me.  It also illustrated that many of my friends and colleagues had this figured out years ago and I was adorably unaware of their secret super powers of reclaiming their life from the mainstream path with a unique brand of financial savvy and life hacks that would make them free.

Early retirement? House hacking? Real estate investing? Tax hacking? Geoarbitrage?  Financial freedom?  Index funds?  Living off of your investments?  Multiple income streams?  

Apparently, we’ve been in the same places, but not at the same stages.  It is amazing that you can be surrounded by knowledge, but you’re still asleep at the wheel until one day it clicks and makes sense.

 

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The first time Bo sat in our empty house, the day we closed in May 2017.   A house introduces a lot of heartwarming opportunities-  It has allowed me to rescue dogs, build our charity project, & host hurricane evacuees- but it can also be an opportunity for rampant consumerism.

 

In 2017, I purchased a home that ended up being a living nightmare. While I’m very proud that I was able to put over $50,000 down on a house, I realized that I was at a crossroads.  One decision had already been made, which tied me to a 20 year mortgage, but the financial fumblings that came along with it helped me wake up to the fact that I was in control of my life, only if I wanted to be.

Yep, it can easily feel that your are falling down a stairs, comprised of your own f*ups as you tumble down the path of you examining your own choices.

 

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When life hands you lemons, add vodka.  I call this concoction “The Mortgage Payment” and I am now in love with crafting cocktails to cheers to life’s biggest blunders- like the fact I was completely broke this past January due to the house problems.  Cheers!

I should have bought less house.  I should have purchased a duplex instead of a single family home.  I should have been reading up on BitCoin before it was a thing.  I could have been so much better off had I been emotionally ready to invest (yes, I literally told myself I was not ready for investing for years.)

I did a lot right, but of course, when you’re looking at trying to shave 15 years off of your retirement- it’s a long slog.

 

I often wish I had discovered intentional living and the concept of financial freedom before I purchased this house, and in my last two years of frugal rebellion on a path of consistent hedonic adaption (meaning you keep chasing and spending more as your ability to be happy with what you have becomes harder and harder), I’m glad I woke up now.

I’ve been asleep at the wheel for the last two years. I got relatively comfortable with an increased salary (yay, not at minimum wage anymore), and my lifestyle, not suprisingly started to inflate and I began to drift both with how I spent my money and my time.  Everything in my life, slowly, started to become reactionary- I didn’t have a guidepost or an aim.

Beyond putting 20% down on a house, I didn’t have a big, inspirational goal- but I’m happy to say I have one now and it’s realigned my scope of vision with a sense of autonomy and a desire to live sufficiently.

 

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For the last two years, I have wasted a TON of food, and thus money. I now own the experience of eating and meal prep- I’ve cut waste and see cooking as an opportunity to learn new skills and relax a bit- not a chore. 

Since October, when I first started thinking that early retirement or living an unconventional life could be a possibility, I got off of the consumerist treadmill and started taking a hard look at my choices and paying attention to my relationship with money and how I spend my time. I’ve made a lot of changes that felt exciting at first, but are part of a long, slow process to take ownership of my life.

Since making strides towards a 10-20 year financial plan can feel both overwhelmingly long and not terribly inspiring when looked at on their own, I have started tracking even the smallest little things on my phone to show progress and stay motivated.

 

– I cancelled two of my subscription boxes, which was $475 in yearly savings.  While I love the thrill of getting the simplified my wardrobe and a few others, I realized I was getting a lot of things I didn’t actually need (read: clutter) and it was also draining my bank account.Yes, I LOVE getting mail, but I was pretty darn addicted to this thrill and had to reassess my why in addition to cutting that expense.  I have simplified my wardrobe, yet getting boxes in the mail were not in alignment with the value of simplicity in my closet. I was happy to cancel them.

– I realized I was spending a lot of money on food that was going to waste because I was shopping on impulse or without a plan.  Things like random jam flavors and margarita mixers to “stock our pantry” for a party that wasn’t even planned frequently went to waste.  I threw out a LOT of food. If it doesn’t have a purpose in the next week, I don’t buy it.

– I also realized my cabinets where black holes for food to get lost & not be consumed before the expiration date.  I now “shop my pantry” and cut costs by utilizing what we have and reducing waste on shelf-stable goods.

– Cooking used to be a chore for me, I hated it.  I made a change from a reactive workweek to proactively planning our meals and prepping double batches to make cooking more fun and see it as an opportunity to acquire some kitchen skills.  Everything gets cooked on Sunday, so I can take my time and it’s transformed how I feel about cooking.

– I was overwhelmed, reactive and whatever wasn’t hitting me in the face with my money was on auto-pilot.  Around the time I found the Choose FI podcast, I was able to opt-in to my employers 401k program with a 2.5% match.  I still have a lot to learn, but I’m committed to being proactive about my money and learning more to save money on taxes, cut expenses and finally invest in index funds this year.

-I downloaded the Mint app and Personal Capital to track how I’m doing.  Within the first month of doing so- I discovered two charges I would have previously missed- one was a double billing from iTunes for $31.99, and another was $40+ for a mini bar at a hotel we’d stayed at for a bottle of vodka we never even drank. I have to wonder what I’ve missed by not tracking my credit card statements.

 

 

Honestly- your life is a series of small choices that help calibrate your entire life.  Just as not paying attention for two years has stalled out my progress, being aware of where I’m headed feels good.

No, skipping out on lattes won’t make you a millionaire, but it will help you feel like you have your hand on the wheel and every penny you spend has a purpose and is working for you, versus you working for your dollars.  

I am happy to get off the hedonistic adaption treadmill, clear out the clutter, live more intentionally and reclaim my time. So that’s where I’m at- one phone note at a time.

While it's a gift to have trailblazers in your IG feed, it can feel like you're watching their highlight reel when you're still in the thicket of bullshit.

Life is wondrous! Feed your lust for life with the tools & inspiration to help make it a great one.

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Follow the adventure on Instagram

Some people just make the world a more vibrant pla Some people just make the world a more vibrant place, simply by being in it.  I can say that about these people- who make life more colorful, brighter and true just by being themselves. 

Grateful we could slow down to capture a little snippet in time for our family before we grow again. ❤️
IYKYK, bath time edition. 🛁. #bathtime #travelb IYKYK, bath time edition. 🛁. #bathtime #travelblogger #travel #familytravel #travellust
3 years since this photo was taken and my former k 3 years since this photo was taken and my former kidney became this guy's kidney. ❤️

I can say, I've grown to appreciate this moment a lot more as time has gone on.  It hasn't been an easy road for my recipient, he and his family have had a few health scares and ups and down, but I'm so grateful we are in each other's lives.

Chances are, you may know of someone in need of a kidney. 1 in 3 adults in the U.S., over 80 million people, are at risk for kidney disease.  While not every diagnosis leads to kidney failure, there are millions of people in this scary limbo hoping for good news.

I didn't know my recipient before this process started, but when I found I could live healthfully with one, I knew I had to try.  Donation is low-risk, my costs were generously covered by my recipient (both through insurance and the kindness of others) and I was back at work in 4 weeks.  Needless to say, it was easier than birthing a baby.

Candidates for kidney donation are thoroughly vetted to ensure the surgery, and life with one kidney are a good fit.  Trust me, your team will not ask you to donate if you have any risk factor of being in need of a transplant yourself down the road.  Testing took months and was incredibly thorough.  Your remaining kidney can do the job of two, and my kidney levels are normal and healthy 3 years later.

Even if you don't personally know someone who needs a kidney, please consider living kidney donation.  You can anonymously donate, be paired through a registry or find someone on social media who is in need, like I did.  There are literally thousands of people using Instagram and Facebook to try and someone who is even willing to get the basic tests.  You could be their person.  Have questions? I’m here for you! 

Being a living kidney donor absolutely enriched my life beyond imagination and has blessed my little family with a beautiful extended family to celebrate with.  Grateful for this day.
Life’s moments are made better with our pets. ❤️

Joey had been with us for nearly 4 years, made possible by the kind folks of South Texas Boston Terrier Rescue. I picked him up, intending on fostering him for a few weeks and ended up falling in love with his sweet spirit, exuberance for anything food related and his lovable derpiness.

Previously, he was kept in a small cage with two other terriers, all day every day and used as a stud. When he was no longer profitable, he, like plenty of others, was surrendered to rescue.  He was blind in one eye, needed teeth extracted and had skin lesions from life in a cage. 

Life hadn’t been easy for him, but I’m glad a rescue was there to give him a second chance, and they trusted me to give in his second chapter.  He was a well travelled dog and he was the Best Pup on our wedding day in Marfa.  Last night we said goodbye. Hubs and I will miss him dearly, but savor the moments and adventures with our little tank. 

Adopt, don’t shop.  Support your local rescues and give your fur kids an extra squeeze for Joey tonight.
“Is this enough for you?” My husband has asked “Is this enough for you?” My husband has asked me this before. To which, I answer- life is full, wonderful, and I am grateful. 

I believe he asks because before kids, I had a very different lifestyle. I traveled to Europe by myself, started businesses, donated a kidney, ran half marathons, got my master’s degree.  I lived a full life, then too. I was fiercely independent because I had to be.

I’m still that person, but fortunately I have more people to share it with. I also have to be more vulnerable than ever.

I had years to find myself and don’t plan on losing that woman I forged. Being a mom has also helped me heal some of the hard parts of the experience I had with my own mom. (I didn’t see that last part coming.)

Being a mom can make you lose yourself.  For me, it’s helped me discover myself once more. Grateful for this day and so many days - I’m just happy to be here. 

Happy Mother’s Day everyone. I hope you discover yourself, heal what you need and feel the love today and everyday.

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