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The Wonder Luster

For Those Of Us Whose Dreams Won't Die Between 17 and 65.

Life is wondrous! Feed your lust for life with the tools & inspiration to help make it a great one.

Women Traveling Solo: Why I Recommend It

Travel | July 2, 2018

Women traveling solo: don't let the naysaysers and your own self-limiting beliefs stop you. This trip will teach you so much, including these 4 things.

Up until several years ago, the extent of my solo traveling pretty much consisted of the length of time a typical flight takes to reach my home town. Then, when I broke off my engagement to the man I was set to marry in just a few months, I had a bit of an awakening. You might even call it a rebirth. I started taking trips on my own and though I am now in a relationship with a wonderful guy, I still travel solo when the desire hits me.

Some folks, when they hear of women traveling solo have some pretty negative feelings about the matter. Of course, none of which they’d ever say to a man. I’ve heard it all….

“What if you get lost? Who will take your pictures?”

“That isn’t safe, women are exceptional targets”

“Won’t you be lonely/afraid/bored/have less fun?”

My response? I can take care of my damn self.  A security blanket of my significant other, or anyone for that matter- will not help me be safer, have more fun or be my personal photographer. Sure, I might get lost- in fact, I have…a lot. I might even find myself a little anxious or afraid.  Heck, in Dublin I was so jetlagged and tired (Oh, and Guinness was involed) that I got lost, at night, in the rain.  I called an Uber and survived to tell the tale!

I am my own woman, and I figured it out and learned how to hail a cab, ask for directions or for people to take my photo- it can be done!

Women traveling solo for the first time, listen up! You’ve got this.  Everything is figure-outable.  Yes, it may be weird, but isn’t being weird the whole point of travel?  Get out and be somewhere and someone different.

And for those of you still on the fence: consider these reasons for trying solo travel for the first time………

You Will Discover How Self-Sufficient You Truly Are

Whether you are a type A-planner, with a minute by minute itinerary in place, or you are just going to hop on a plane and see what comes, things will never go perfectly. You may find that you forgot your phone charger or your plane is delayed in a country where you don’t speak the language. Stuff like this will happen, but it will also teach you just how capable you are. When you have no one else to make the decisions, you will step up and discover how self-sufficient you can be. This is incredibly empowering.

Of course, I highly recommend being prepared. Do what YOU need to do to feel ready.  Don’t be willy-nilly with you money and passport, make sure you pack your meds and undies, watch your drink and purse, and have safe sex. You know, all the stuff your mama taught you, that you likely do at home.

You Will Create New Relationships

It’s kind of amazing how many more connections you make when you travel solo as a woman. And I am not talking about hookups, although those are certainly an option- no judgement here!

Instead of leaning on your travel partner for conversation, you seek out other travelers or locals.  Even if it is just a passing conversation and you forever part ways, you are broadening your mind. You are learning about other people’s culture, country, and life perspectives.  Some of my best conversations were had during pub crawls I signed up for, knowing it’d be a good way to meet people.

If you’re especially interested in making new friends, consider staying in a hostel. They’re a safe, fun way to meet people and save money. You can read more about hostels and the social opportunities they offer via my post Staying in Hostels: What You Need to Know.

You’ll Get To Know Yourself

When you travel with a companion or group, it is difficult to find time to reflect on your life. Alternatively, when traveling solo, you have days (or weeks) to yourself. Without anyone else there to build you up – or knock you down – you learn to work through self-limiting beliefs, issues at home, and lack or low self-esteem. It is a perfect time to consider where you are in life, if you’re happy, and what you can do to improve your relationships with yourself and others.

Give yourself time to explore the world’s historic sights and experience a different cultural heritage by yourself to start to realize how undistracted you can be.  You get to take your time, be in your own head and respond to where the day takes you.  It’s refreshing and enlightening to say the least!

You’ll Learn To Make Your Own Decisions

Decision making with even one companion – much less an entire group – can be incredibly tedious and even frustrating when traveling. And usually, there’s always someone who isn’t happy with that decision. When traveling by yourself, you can do whatever you darn well please.

If that means spending every minute on a beach, sipping margaritas, you can do that. Alternatively, you may want to hit up every single tourist attraction a location has to offer, and going it alone means you won’t have anyone holding you back. The world is your oyster, my friends!

Considering taking a solo trip? Tell me about your plans!

Life is wondrous! Feed your lust for life with the tools & inspiration to help make it a great one.

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Women traveling solo: don't let the naysaysers and your own self-limiting beliefs stop you. This trip will teach you so much, including these 4 things.

Women Traveling Solo: Why I Recommend It

Women traveling solo: don’t let the naysaysers and your own self-limiting beliefs stop you. This trip will teach you so much, including these 4 things.

Follow the adventure on Instagram

Some people just make the world a more vibrant pla Some people just make the world a more vibrant place, simply by being in it.  I can say that about these people- who make life more colorful, brighter and true just by being themselves. 

Grateful we could slow down to capture a little snippet in time for our family before we grow again. ❤️
IYKYK, bath time edition. 🛁. #bathtime #travelb IYKYK, bath time edition. 🛁. #bathtime #travelblogger #travel #familytravel #travellust
3 years since this photo was taken and my former k 3 years since this photo was taken and my former kidney became this guy's kidney. ❤️

I can say, I've grown to appreciate this moment a lot more as time has gone on.  It hasn't been an easy road for my recipient, he and his family have had a few health scares and ups and down, but I'm so grateful we are in each other's lives.

Chances are, you may know of someone in need of a kidney. 1 in 3 adults in the U.S., over 80 million people, are at risk for kidney disease.  While not every diagnosis leads to kidney failure, there are millions of people in this scary limbo hoping for good news.

I didn't know my recipient before this process started, but when I found I could live healthfully with one, I knew I had to try.  Donation is low-risk, my costs were generously covered by my recipient (both through insurance and the kindness of others) and I was back at work in 4 weeks.  Needless to say, it was easier than birthing a baby.

Candidates for kidney donation are thoroughly vetted to ensure the surgery, and life with one kidney are a good fit.  Trust me, your team will not ask you to donate if you have any risk factor of being in need of a transplant yourself down the road.  Testing took months and was incredibly thorough.  Your remaining kidney can do the job of two, and my kidney levels are normal and healthy 3 years later.

Even if you don't personally know someone who needs a kidney, please consider living kidney donation.  You can anonymously donate, be paired through a registry or find someone on social media who is in need, like I did.  There are literally thousands of people using Instagram and Facebook to try and someone who is even willing to get the basic tests.  You could be their person.  Have questions? I’m here for you! 

Being a living kidney donor absolutely enriched my life beyond imagination and has blessed my little family with a beautiful extended family to celebrate with.  Grateful for this day.
Life’s moments are made better with our pets. ❤️

Joey had been with us for nearly 4 years, made possible by the kind folks of South Texas Boston Terrier Rescue. I picked him up, intending on fostering him for a few weeks and ended up falling in love with his sweet spirit, exuberance for anything food related and his lovable derpiness.

Previously, he was kept in a small cage with two other terriers, all day every day and used as a stud. When he was no longer profitable, he, like plenty of others, was surrendered to rescue.  He was blind in one eye, needed teeth extracted and had skin lesions from life in a cage. 

Life hadn’t been easy for him, but I’m glad a rescue was there to give him a second chance, and they trusted me to give in his second chapter.  He was a well travelled dog and he was the Best Pup on our wedding day in Marfa.  Last night we said goodbye. Hubs and I will miss him dearly, but savor the moments and adventures with our little tank. 

Adopt, don’t shop.  Support your local rescues and give your fur kids an extra squeeze for Joey tonight.
“Is this enough for you?” My husband has asked “Is this enough for you?” My husband has asked me this before. To which, I answer- life is full, wonderful, and I am grateful. 

I believe he asks because before kids, I had a very different lifestyle. I traveled to Europe by myself, started businesses, donated a kidney, ran half marathons, got my master’s degree.  I lived a full life, then too. I was fiercely independent because I had to be.

I’m still that person, but fortunately I have more people to share it with. I also have to be more vulnerable than ever.

I had years to find myself and don’t plan on losing that woman I forged. Being a mom has also helped me heal some of the hard parts of the experience I had with my own mom. (I didn’t see that last part coming.)

Being a mom can make you lose yourself.  For me, it’s helped me discover myself once more. Grateful for this day and so many days - I’m just happy to be here. 

Happy Mother’s Day everyone. I hope you discover yourself, heal what you need and feel the love today and everyday.

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